Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Slow work speed

Some children dress very slowly and their parents are used to doing things for them. This in fact causes the child’s work speed to become even worse. Some children may experience this as the parents telling them indirectly “you are not capable to handle this task, so I will have to do it for you”. I encourage these parents to be well prepared schedule and routine wise as to wake their children earlier and to reward their children accordingly. For example: If your child dressed in 20 minutes today, he/she receives a star, after 10 stars you reward your child with quality time for example going to the zoo together. It is recommended not to reward with sweets.
Try not to interfere when your child is busy solving a problem and figuring out a task for him/herself. This process is very important as the child learns to think for him/herself Only help when your child asks for help.
When a parent hands a task (which is not too difficult for the child’s level of competence) over to a child and when the parent does not interfere, they indirectly tell the child “I believe in you, and I believe that you are capable to do this”. Children can see straight to your heart. They see in your eyes when you are proud of them and when you praise them with words and quality time, its even better.

Healthy family relationships

When a family does chores together, it can improve how well the family works together as a group. This may improve relationships within the family, if the communication is open and healthy.
Parents used to think that they will naturally get along with their children because their related. This is not the case as each child’s and parent’s temperament may differ and you have to learn to gel along just as you and new colleagues at work learn to work together. I strongly recommend the book “Growing kids with character” by Hettie Britz. This book may be available at exclusive books and Cum books. In this book Hettie explains the different temperament of children (starting from the age of 2), and of parents. You complete a questionnaire to see more or less what the temperament of your child is and at the end of the book, she explains how to handle your child emotionally according to your child’s temperament. This cannot replace the help of a professional Clinical/Educational Psychologist or a play therapist who works with your child. It can, however, assist you in communicating effectively with your child and it may help you to better understand the way your child thinks and functions and what makes him/her “tick”.
If you struggle with discipline in the household, I recommend the follow-up book by Hettie Britz on Authority. This will help you to identify and improve your style of discipline and it will generate a healthier relationship between you and your child.

Activities of daily living and chores

Parents are encouraged to assist their children in being as independent as possible in their activities of daily living by letting their children bath, dress and feed themselves.

Children should have chores to help with around the house. This enhances a child’s sense of responsibility and independence.
Chores shouldn’t take more time than 30 min a day, because children should have adequate time for playing .Make these chores part of the daily routine so that the child has a certain time on which the chore must be initiated and a deadline as to when the task must be completed.
It is recommended that parents give these instructions, step-by-step, in English as to improve a child’s following of the teacher’s instructions in the classroom.
This will furthermore improve a child’s problem solving skills as he/she will have to break a task in smaller components and decide which step to do first. This may benefit your child’s performance in math word sums later in their school career.
Let me give you some examples of activities which can improve the physical and mental development of your child:
* Sweeping a kitchen-/veranda floor (improves shoulder control and midline crossing)
* Helping the parent to wash the car with a cloth in each hand (enhances the working together with 2 hands as well as shoulder control)
* Help mom to hang the washing. Child should stand on a chair so that the wire is shoulder height. Child should use pegs. (Improves shoulder control, working together with left and right hand and improves muscle strength of the child’s hand muscles)
* Help mom to make sandwiches or bake a cake. (Improves sequencing when it is done step by step and it helps the child to plan and problem solve. When the product is finished and garnished, the child may feel proud of it and the child’s self-esteem will therefore be improved)

Television and computer/playstation games

Media (Playstation and computer games as well as TV watching) should be minimized to no more that 45 minutes a weekday and 1 ½ hour during weekends.
When working on a computer, a Child should take a break every 15 minutes and relax his/her eyes.
He/She should be reminded to maintain the correct upright posture and thus also the correct eye distance (25 to 30 cm distance must be maintained between his eyes and the book or television, after the eye test has been conducted).